Post-Adoption Depression Syndrome

An article to read which was originally published in "Today's Parent", March 2003, written by Shelly Page, titled: "The Hidden Baby Blues"... The article says that many mothers who go through an adoption are at risk for developing depression after the new child comes home. In comparison to Post-Partum Depression, the frequency of depression among adoptive mothers brings into question that this "after-baby" depression is not necessarily only the result of hormones. I am totally paraphrasing, but you get the idea.

Unfortunately, adoptive mothers who suffer from Post-Adoption Depression Disorder do not necessarily feel their depression is justifiable. On the contrary, they should be elated because they finally got what they wanted. But nonetheless, a huge life transition has just occurred. Yes, adoptive parents are often prepped by their agencies to expect the worst-case scenarios like discovering your child is sick or developmentally delayed, the obstacles that can arise during the travel, and difficulties with your child adapting or bonding etc.. In the midst of pursuing your child, you aren't actually dealing with the reality of him/her yet. Once the process is complete and your child is home, adoptive parents are confronted with the reality of raising this child versus the child that has been in their hope-filled imaginations.

The term "Post-Adoption Depression Syndrome" was coined by June Bond in 1995, and this depression is not exclusive to parents of adopted infants. Even with children of any age, there are serious adjustments to be made, and overcoming language barriers, the unknown affects of pre-adoption experiences, malnutrition, etc. can be a heavy load even for well-prepared parents.

Cconsider all that you will go through emotionally. Using the example of the holidays: we hustle around excitedly preparing for family get-togethers, planning the perfect meals, choosing the best gifts, making plans and then... it is January 2nd, and it is all over. It was all achieved and then there is a letdown. Really, there is no sigh of relief because life has to now incorporate all the change. You built up to this one event, lived every day to see the end result and then go on with life.

There is a "honeymoon period" between parents and child. It can last around six months until the child begins to test your commitment to him/her. This is like any child who pushes and pushes until they can find the limits and boundaries you've established for their well-being. But often for adoptive parents, there is a question about how much of this behavior is related to their temperament and how much is a result of the adoption. This is emotionally trying for parents-- an in-road for depression.

This article also makes suggestions for how adoptive parents can cope better and off-set PADS. She recommends we don't overdo social interactions with family and friends so the nuclear family can bond and transition. Also, maintain special time alone with your spouse. And lastly, guard ourselves against unrealistic expectations and becoming impatient; "remember that bonding takes time."



Recommended reading: Post-Adoption Blues: Overcoming the Unforeseen Challenges of Adoption
by Karen Foli & John R. Thompson